Use a good, durable varnish. No, just kidding.
Some men like to worship their women. They do anything and everything for them, shower them with gifts, think of them while they make love, and put them on a pedestal. This is bad for the relationship, counter-productive, and too good for them. The only time a woman should be put on a pedestal is when she’s too short to reach the kitchen sink.
Any woman who is treated like a god will treat her man like a peasant. There needs to be a balance between what she gives you and what you give her. If she gives you a headache, give her gonorrhoea. If she gives you happiness, mental stability and bliss, let her off the housework once in a while.
Achieving this kind of perfect balance in a relationship can be as hard as Nelson’s Column, but a relationship is like balancing on just two legs when you’re drunk: lose that delicate balance and you fall into your own vomit. You have been warned.
Table of Contents
Introduction 5
How to treat a babe 8
Being single 10
Understanding babes 14
The basics of chatting-up 21
Psychology 27
Image 29
Telephoning 39
Venues for a first date 46
Handling the date 48
First impressions 55
Talking 57
Body language 61
Physical contact 63
Teamwork 65
Targeting 68
Sex 75
Love 76
4 HOW TO CHAT-UP BABES
How to act in front of her parents 78
When things turn sour 81
Top Chat-up Lines 83
Epilogue 94
Reviews
Esquire...
‘Seduce her mind with the help of Stewart Ferris.’
FHM...
‘Hilarious book... armed with this you can enchant her with your velvety wordplay.'